OHHHHH MY GOD THIS IS THE GREATEST MOVIE I'VE SEEN IN MY LIFE!

There's this guy, named Scrooge, and he's a real asshole! I mean look at him! He's old, cranky, mean, greedy, and he likes to say humbug! I had a humbug infestation once! It was not pretty. So because he's so mean, the ghost of his old buddy comes to haunt him! And he's like, "You will meet three ghosts." And Scrooge is like, "That's kind of a bummer really." And the ghost is like, "PISS OFF" So then Scrooge meets the ghost of Jim Carrey! Who is apparently Irish. And has a stutter. And his head is made of fire. So he takes Scrooge back in time, and Scrooge sees his old self, and he fell in love, but then the nice lady dumps him. So Scrooge kills Jim Carrey! Wow, I just realized how violent that was. So Scrooge then meets the ghost of fat people, and he sees a cute little boy who is also a cripple. And Scrooge is like, "Is that boy going to die, Mr. Ghost?" And the ghost is like, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" So then Scrooge meets the Grim Reaper, and is like, "Let's get this over with I have things to do okay," so he runs away, then he sees that the cute little boy is dead, then he sees that he's dead! Hoo... ray? So then he goes back to the past, to blow these reviews out of his ass, oh wait, that's something else.

This is Barack Obama, saying CHAAANGE! YOU GOT CHANGE? AW COME ON, CHANGE!

At least give me a can of Raid! The humbugs are acting up again!

[/Chester A. Bum]